As a certified MPGA mental coach working with golfers, I often see players carry more than just clubs onto the course. They bring their self-worth.
You know the moment—
You hit a poor shot into the trees, the bunker, or the water.
You hang your head.
You drag your feet toward your ball.
You’re stuck thinking about what just happened instead of what’s next.
In that moment, many players unknowingly hand over their self-worth.
They give the last shot their self-worth cup, and say, “Hold this for me while I try again.”
If that resonates, you’re not alone.
And you’re in the right place.
What Is the Self-Worth Cup?
Imagine your self-worth as a cup you carry.
When you attach it to your performance, every shot becomes a vote on who you are.
A birdie makes you feel good.
A double bogey makes you question yourself.
If I handed you my self-worth cup and asked you to hold it, what could you do with it? You can do anything... really.
You could drop it.
Poke holes in it.
Forget about it.
That’s what happens when you attach your identity to your results.
You lose control over something deeply personal and important to you.
But what if you stopped doing that?
Take Back Your Cup
The self-worth cup is yours.
Not your scorecard’s.
Not your playing partner’s.
It's not today’s swing.
It belongs to you!
Here’s a simple reset the next time you feel rattled after a bad shot:
Step 1: Pause. Recognize what just happened without judgment.
Step 2: Ask, “Who’s holding my cup right now?”
Step 3: If it’s not you, remind yourself, “I’m in control of where my self-worth goes?”
Step 4: Look at your next shot. It doesn't need your cup. It needs your focus.
Step 5: Remind yourself—the cup was never lost. It’s always been with you.
This process builds awareness.
And awareness builds mastery.
A Real-World Example: Rory McIlroy, U.S. Open 2024
Let’s look at Rory’s missed putt on 18 at last year's U.S. Open. He committed to the read. Trusted the process. The ball didn’t fall.
But Rory didn’t hand that moment his self-worth.
He knew he was still the same player.
Still whole.
Still enough.
And that mindset allowed him to move forward—without shame and without collapse.
Practice Off the Course, Too
This isn’t just a golf strategy—it’s a life skill.
Your boss criticizes your work.
A goal at the gym doesn’t go as planned.
A family member says something that stings.
Stop and ask, “Who’s holding my cup right now?”
Every time you take it back, you build mental strength.
And that strength translates to the course.
You’re not your last shot.
You’re not your last mistake.
You’re not your last win, either.
Hold your cup.
Trust your process.
Play from a place of ownership.
Your game—and your confidence—will follow.
Your Mental Coach,
Coach Dustin
Dustin Donner is a Mental Performance Coach intern with MPGA, committed to helping athletes master their mental game. With a background in counseling and sport performance psychology, he brings a strong foundation in high-performance coaching.
Follow Dustin here at his new Performance Consulting Instagram
UPCOMING MPGA EVENT
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