When Winning Isn’t the Point

A summary of my upcoming book ONE: A Spiritual Playbook for the Mental Game of Golf

You want to win.
Every athlete does.
Competing without desire is just practice. But the longer you play, the more you realize winning doesn’t deliver what you imagined.

I’ve sat with players minutes after the biggest wins of their lives.
They held trophies. They posed for photos. Then… they looked at me and whispered, “That’s it?”

The high faded fast.
The applause ended.
And many were left wondering what the grind was really for.

Winning gives you validation for a moment.
However, purpose gives you peace for a lifetime.

You run into trouble when the scoreboard becomes the only way you measure your life. Golf will expose you. Life will too. Some days you win. Some days you fall short. And eventually you’re forced to face a harder question: What remains when the outcome doesn’t go your way?

I think about a player I coached during LPGA Q-Series.
Every day mattered. Every shot mattered.
She played beautifully all the way to the final hole of the final round. This felt like her year. We both sensed it.

Then she missed a six-footer on the last hole and missed qualifying by one.
Again.

She sat in silence, crushed. Then she said something that has stayed with me:

“I think God’s more interested in who I’m becoming than where I finish.”

That’s the shift.

Psychologists call it values-based living, which is aligning goals with the person you want to become instead of chasing external approval. Research shows athletes who pursue value-driven goals experience more wellbeing, less burnout, and stronger long-term growth.

Faith takes that idea deeper, and this idea is the pursuit of character over victory and obedience over outcome.

Mark 8:36 asks, “What does it profit a person to gain the whole world, yet lose their soul?”

Winning can show your work ethic, but losing can show your heart.
Both can strengthen your purpose if you let them.

This is one of the core messages inside my upcoming book ONE: A Spiritual Playbook for the Mental Game of Golf. The athletes who play for an Audience of One learn that freedom doesn’t come from scorecards. It comes from trust, from gratitude, and from knowing that your worth is settled long before you tee off.

I remind my players often:

If your peace depends on performance, it will always be fragile, but when your peace comes from purpose, no score can take it away.

Purpose outlasts pressure.
Peace outlasts results.

When you believe God is more concerned with your obedience than your outcome, you start swinging freer. You walk lighter. You see success less as a destination and more as the way you show up each day.

And at the end of your career?
Your trophies will fade.
Your rankings will fade.
But the person you became while pursuing God’s purpose endures.

Here’s the lesson for both golf and life:

Winning isn’t the point… Becoming is.

The goal was never the trophy. The real win is the person you become when no one’s watching.

Your Mental Coach,

Dr. Mat

I’m excited for the launch of MPGA+ and our Bible Study for Golfers. If you would like to find out more on developing your golf game and elevating your life, visit www.mpgagolf.com and join MPGA+ today!