My daughter is ten. She loves tennis. Last week I watched her walk onto a court where she was the only girl in the group, and she did not flinch.
But I almost did.
I sat in the bleachers and felt that old parent knot in my chest. The one that shows up when you watch your kid step into a room that was not built with her in mind. She picked up her racket. She found her spot. She started hitting. Nobody handed her permission. She took it.
That is the thing about sport. It teaches our girls to lean in before the world tells them they should hang back.
The round will test her, and that is the point.
I coach junior golfers for a living. I have watched hundreds of kids stand over a shot with their whole sense of worth riding on where the ball lands. Boys do it. Girls do it. But I notice something specific with the girls I work with. They carry an extra weight. A quiet question underneath the swing. Do I belong here?
The answer is yes. And the game itself is one of the best places to prove it.
Golf does not care about gender. The ball does not know who hit it. The hole does not move because you are the only girl in your flight. What golf gives a young woman is a clean mirror. She sets a goal. She works. She fails. She adjusts. She gets a little better. That loop builds something no pep talk ever will. It builds earned confidence.
Process over outcome, and why it matters more for her
Here is what I am teaching tonight. We have an acronym at our academy. FACE: Focus, Attitude, Commitment, Effort.
When a young player stands over a shot, she has a choice. She can fixate on the result, the score, the people watching, the story she is writing about whether she is good enough. Or she can lock onto one element she controls. Her focus. Her attitude. Her commitment to the shot. Her effort.
The research on this is clear enough to bet a season on. Players who anchor to process goals instead of outcome goals perform better under pressure and stay in the game longer. They recover faster from mistakes. They report more enjoyment. When you let go of the result and own the moment in front of you, you free yourself to play.
For a young girl learning to trust herself, this is the whole ballgame. She is not waiting on an outcome to tell her she has value. She decides her worth at the start of the shot, not the end. The scoreboard becomes information, not a verdict.
Why this partnership means something to me
This evening at 7 PM Eastern, MPGA will host our second webinar with Girls Golf. This one matters to me more than I expected it to.
I get to stand in front of a room of young female golfers and their parents and say the thing I want my own daughter to hear. You belong here. The game is yours. Your effort counts. Your attitude is a choice. Your focus is power.
I feel honored to partner with a foundation that believes what I believe. That a girl with a club in her hand is learning more than a swing. She is learning to lean in.
One final thought before you go
If you parent a daughter who plays anything, ask her one question this week. Not how did you do. Ask, what did you focus on out there?
Watch what happens when the conversation moves off the result and onto the things she controls. That small shift is where confidence starts.
The event is free. Come learn FACE with us. Bring your daughter. Bring your questions.
Register here: https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/8dN4h_nqS7qtqzzfa7cz6w
Today is the last day to register since the event is tonight at 7 PM Eastern.
See you soon.
Your Mental Coach,
Dr. Mat
Dr. Mat Park is a mental performance coach, sport psychologist, author, and founder of the Mental Performance Golf Academy. Learn more at mpgagolf.com.