Moving Through Mental Blocks: Ellen’s Breakthrough Moment
How Ellen overcame a mental block that was dimming her spark
Ellen’s Challenge
Ellen is a junior golfer with a game that turns heads. Her swing flows like a well-timed symphony, and her short game is precise enough to make seasoned players take note. She’s a competitor through and through. But during a critical stretch of her tournament season, Ellen hit a wall—not a physical one, but a mental one that threatened to derail her.
It began subtly: a missed putt, a tough round. Then the doubts crept in, quiet at first but growing louder: “What if I mess up again?” “Everyone’s expecting me to fail.” “Another bad score will ruin me.” These thoughts trailed her from tee to green, turning her game into a battle against fear. Her pre-shot routine became rushed, her club choices hesitant, her tempo unsteady. Ellen wasn’t playing to win anymore—she was playing to avoid losing.
When we sat down, her honesty struck me. “I feel like I’m just trying not to screw up,” she admitted softly. That was the moment I knew: Ellen wasn’t in a performance slump. She was grappling with a mental block—a common but conquerable barrier where doubt and pressure can steal your focus.
A Path Through the Block
We didn’t chase quick fixes or lean on empty motivational phrases. Mental blocks require intentional, evidence-based strategies to overcome. Drawing on my experience, we took a three-step approach to help Ellen reclaim her game—and you can use these same steps to move through your own challenges.
1. Name the Block.
The first step was to give her struggle a name. “Ellen,” I said, “this is a mental block. It’s not who you are—it’s just a pattern.” Naming it gave her clarity and power, transforming the problem from a personal failing into something manageable. Research by Dr. Susan Nolen-Hoeksema at Yale shows that labeling emotions reduces their intensity, helping you regain control. For Ellen, calling it a block made it less daunting and more like a challenge she could tackle. As I like to say, “Name it to tame it.”
2. Reset with Circle Breathing.
Ellen’s mind was racing under pressure, so we introduced circle breathing, a technique grounded in research from Stanford and from Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn’s mindfulness studies. It’s simple yet powerful:
Inhale for four seconds.
Hold for two seconds.
And exhale for six seconds.
She practiced this before sessions and between shots, especially after a mistake. It acted like a mental reset, bringing her back to the present. Studies show that rhythmic breathing lowers cortisol levels and enhances focus, and for Ellen, it was a lifeline. She began using it before every shot, turning mental chaos into calm clarity.
3. Refocus on the Controllable.
I asked Ellen, “What are you trying to control out there?”
“My score,” she replied, almost apologetically.
“Can you control that?” I asked gently.
She shook her head. “Not really.”
“Then what can you control?”
After a moment, she listed:
My breathing.
My commitment to each shot.
My pre-shot routine.
My tempo.
My target.
This became her new focus. Instead of chasing a number, she zeroed in on what she could influence. Dr. Carol Dweck’s research on growth mindset supports this—focusing on controllable actions fosters resilience and improves performance. We also added a visualization practice, inspired by Kobe Bryant’s pre-game rituals. Each night, Ellen imagined standing on the tee: hearing her name, feeling the club, seeing the shot soar, and walking off with quiet confidence. She rehearsed this until it felt instinctive.
Ellen’s Breakthrough
At her next tournament, Ellen still felt nerves—pressure is part of the game, and that’s okay. But now she had tools to handle it. When she missed a green, she took a circle breath and approached her chip with steady focus. After a bogey, she wrote “next shot” in her yardage book, a cognitive behavioral therapy technique to redirect negative thoughts. And when she sank a long birdie putt on the 16th, her smile wasn’t just for the score—it was for the freedom she felt.
Ellen’s round wasn’t flawless, but it was present. She wasn’t playing to avoid mistakes; she was playing to be herself. Her scorecard improved, but the real victory was her rediscovered joy in the game. That’s the power of moving through a mental block—it’s not about perfection; it’s about progress.
Break Through YOUR Mental Block
Mental blocks aren’t a sign of weakness—they’re an invitation to grow. Whether you’re a golfer, an athlete in another sport, or navigating life’s challenges, here’s how you can start moving through your own blocks this week, drawn from the MPGA playbook.
Three Practical Tools to Try:
Name It: When doubt or fear arises—on the course, in practice, or in a high-stakes moment—label it. Say, “This is a mental block.” Write it down if possible. Notice how naming it shifts your perspective.
Circle Breathing: Practice the four-second, two-hold, six-out breathing cycle three times this week, ideally before or after a pressure moment. Feel your feet on the ground, breathe, and reset. Note how it affects your mindset.
Focus on the Controllable: Before your next game or challenge, write down three things you can control (e.g., your effort, routine, or attitude). Focus there instead of the outcome. Try this at least once this week.
Reflective Questions to Explore:
What’s one recurring thought that surfaces when I’m under pressure (e.g., “I’m not good enough in big moments”)?
How would I approach my game or life differently if I fully trusted myself?
Stay Accountable:
To keep moving forward, share your progress with someone—a teammate, friend, or me. Leave a comment below or reply to this post by Sunday, August 10, 2025, with one tool you tried and how it felt. If you’re on instagram, follow us and share your experience using #MPGAPlaybook, and I’ll offer a virtual cheer. Accountability is about committing to your growth, and I’m here to support you every step of the way.
The Heart of the Game
Ellen’s story isn’t about hitting every shot perfectly—it’s about showing up fully present. Mental blocks are universal, whether you’re a junior golfer, a marathon runner, or a leader in a tough spot. The key is learning to move through them with tools grounded in science, like those I’ve seen transform athletes across sports—golfers nailing clutch putts, sprinters setting personal bests, and professionals staying poised under pressure.
Here’s to you, doing the quiet work that builds lasting strength.
Play with presence.
Your Mental Coach,
Dr. Mat